Drowning in vocabulary

Hello, strangers. I’m sorry it has taken me this long to update you. I know you are at the edge of your seat wondering how I am doing. See, the thing with cos school is the deeper you get into it, the more vocab you get. I have notecards off the wah-zoo. I am drowning in a sea of vocabulary. Help me. Jk. However, it is sucking up all my time. All I think about it cosmetology. It’s in my brain. I can’t get it out. When I am not at school I am studying or watching youtube tutorials on how to do hair. I love it, though. I can’t imagine anything different for myself. I am so crazy in love with everything beauty related and I am so happy because of it.

Other aspects of my life are going well. My boyfriend and his squad and I went to the Haunted Hoochie and I peed my pants a bit. I’m not reading anything right now. I am on an urban decay kick – I just got my pulp fiction palette in the mail & a friend of mine gave me her barely used naked palette.

That’s all for now I think. Hopefully I will update more.

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Shrimp Pasta

I haven’t posted for a bit of time (nearly a week) and I’m really sorry. Since school started I have been so crazy busy and I need to try to allow for blog time. Any who, this week has been stressful but good. Sometimes I think stressful is better than dull.

Cosmetology has been full of fun things like manicures and hair cuts. Yes, I said HAIR CUTS! I did my first blunt hair cut and oh boy it was interesting. I cut myself the first little section. Oh, and I accidentally messed up the sides, therefore I got a 3.0/4.9, which sucks. I wanted to try to get 3.5’s and higher in cos, but it’s only my first hair cut. I need to make sure I take my time. I couldn’t be happier, though. I love cos and I am so happy I chose to pursue it.

My other classes are going well. I did an extra credit project for algebra 2. Chemistry is starting to get harder, but I am working hard. I can’t believe I am saying this but I love school. It’s crazy how when you start doing something you love you forget you’re working at all.

This weekend was nice. David took me on a surprise dinner date Friday to O’Charley’s which was so awesome. Then Saturday we went to The Cheesecake Factory which is the fanciest restaurant I’ve ever been to. We have been bickering a lot but that’s to be expected in any relationship. I am very lucky to have him.

That’s all for now, I think. Hopefully I will be able to do an update soon.

Mellow Monday

Today is Monday which means everyone is tired and cranky. Normally I fall into that category but for some reason I am in a pretty good mood. I was really tired in lab this morning but once I got going I felt okay. However, even though I was in a great mood, everyone else was still in the Monday mood, which sucked. Oh well.

Today in lab we are finishing manicures and starting blunt cuts. This is seriously so exciting and terrifying. I am really excited to use my pretty new shears but also terrified that I’m going to mess up my manikian’s hair. But I’m never going to learn if I don’t try so here goes nothing, I suppose!

I don’t feel like writing much.

Bub-bye!

Shaved Head

(I am publishing two posts in one day because I wanted this post to be separate from my update.)

This week I noticed a girl who had a shaved head. Some of the people who sit at my table were talking about it and none of us could figure out why she did it. We originally thought maybe she had cancer, but her hair was already growing back so we didn’t figure that was the case. We thought maybe she had a Britney Spears style melt down. I suggested that maybe she shaved it because someone she knows is going through chemo. Well, the next day after this discussion, I found out that her mom has cancer and is losing her hair, so she shaved it along with her mom. Now, I don’t know who this girl is. I don’t even know what her name is. All I know about her is that she is in my lunch period. But let me just tell you — this girl has inspired me more than you could ever imagine. I couldn’t help but fight back tears when I found out why she shaved her head. I am tearing up right now writing about it. That girl is so damn brave. Kids are cruel! I’d like to think I would be able to do the same but I don’t know if I could. She is my hero and she doesn’t even know who I am. She is seriously the most radical girl. I am so happy that I found out her story because she has inspired me to be brave and stay strong.

Right on, 8th period lunch girl. You’re awesome.

Almost Friday

Hello! Happy almost Friday! I apologize for my lack of posting but I have been so incredibly busy with school. But anywho, I’m back!

This week in Cos we have been finishing up comb outs and moving on to hand and arm massages plus tomorrow we will be doing manicures. I am so excited! I love nails. I love cosmetology in general. It’s a great feeling knowing that you have made a huge step in the right direction. When I made the decision to leave ACPA, I was so afraid I would regret it. But I don’t. Not one bit. I know this is where I belong. I know that this is the career I want to have.  I feel so welcome and appreciated by everyone in the cos class as well which is a huge relief.

As far as my other classes I am doing well. I have a really fantastic chemistry teacher who is making the class I feared the most a great experience. My algebra 2 teacher is really great as well. She moves very quickly which is challenging but I am working as hard as I can to understand the material. It’s the best feeling ever when you check the solution of an equation and it is correct. That’s when you know you have been focused on your goal and it has paid off. Lastly, English class it going well. I wasn’t sure about the teacher at first but I am starting to get used to his teaching style and I think he is going to challenge me. I have wanted a tough English teacher for quite some time and I think I got one.

I am working my tush off right now in school and it’s tiring…but rewarding. I feel good about myself and that is an awesome feeling. 🙂

Focus on Your Goal

Happy Friday!

Not a whole lot has happened in the past few days. In cos we have moved on from braids (I got a 4.0/4.9 on my invisible french braid and a 4.3/4.9 on my visible french braid). We are now doing rollersets and combouts (Monday or Tuesday).

I’m starting to feel very comfortable in my school. I know where the bathrooms are, I’m comfortable asking questions, and I am getting used to the way things are done around here. Each day I am getting progressively more tired which is expected. I am excited to sleep in tomorrow!

Speaking of tomorrow, my boyfriend and I are going the Ohio State football game at the horseshoe. His dad got us tickets. I am not a football fan but it will be cool to experience the game with everyone in columbus all hyped up.

The weather is starting to change. It’s pretty chilly out right now, even though it’s only 70°F. Isn’t that strange how your body gets used to temperatures?

I also wanted to talk about something I do. A while back I watched a movie called How I Live Now. The girl in the movie kept repeating focus on your goal throughout the film. I have started following that as a sort of personal mantra. When you boil down everything in life it comes down to a goal. That goal may be small or large. Everything you do in life is centered around a goal. Focus is important. Often we identify (or indirectly identify) a goal or something we want. We act on this but get distracted or influenced by outside forces which disrupts our focus. This is where we encounter complications in our life. If you focus on your goal hard enough you will have so much more success. My big goal right now is getting my cosmetology license. Lots of little things will try and disrupt my focus. I can a) choose to veer away or I can b) stay focused. Which sounds really simple but depending on the situation it may be incredibly uncomfortable or trying. For instance, I have to have 900 hours of cosmetology by the end of my junior year. That means I can only miss roughly 6 days this year. This is going to be a serious challenge with how bad my immune system is and my anxiety disorder. But I will remain focused. I can do this. Focus on your goal.

Thanks for reading and happy focusing 🙂

Monday

Today was a Monday and Monday’s are not fun day’s. I was a cozy little ball of warmth this morning and I hit snooze 3 times. I finally rolled out of bed and got rolling. I made come coffee for everyone (Mom, David, & I) and left for school. Once I was at school I read in my book. The other day something really weird happened. I was sitting at my regular morning table reading my book and this kid sat across from me. I have never seen him before and there were tons of open seats around the room. It was very, very strange. I realized he was there and looked up from my book and said “Hey” and all he said was “Hi” and put his headphone back in. Then when the bell rang, he left without saying anything else. Isn’t that bizzare? Anyways, he sat two seats over from me this morning and again, didn’t say anything. Weird. 

Cosmetology was focused on braiding again and I think I finally am getting the french braids. They deffinatly aren’t perfect but I will get them eventually and I brought Hannikan home to practice. Hannikin is my manikin, by the way. Hopefully by tomorrow I will have them down. My worst fear is getting behind in cosmetology and not being able to keep up. I really see myself doing this for the rest of my life so I am putting a ton of pressure on myself. 

Lunch was lunch. I’m not very comfortable at my lunch table. I feel very much like an outsider with my group. They all seem to be in their own world and I just awkwardly keep trying to wedge my way into conversation. I like talking to people and I don’t really have anyone to talk to. 

Last week I made a friend in English and I was very fond of her but I just found out today that she switched back to her homeschool. That made me a lot sadder than it should of. It was just nice knowing that I had someone that I could talk to. Oh well, hopefully I will find someone else. I try talking to people all the time but people just don’t seem to want to talk to me. Everyone seems very content in their little group. I wish I had a little group.

I had my first homework assignment which was to type out the essay I wrote in English class which I already did. The rest of my classes have finally started to jump into real learning stuff. I’m really excited to learn things. I like my teachers, also, so that makes it even better.

Today wasn’t the best of days but it is only Monday so the week has 4 more days to look up (And I’m sure it will).

Sending good vibes to everyone who took the time to read this dreary blog post. 

Photo by Hannah 🙂 

 

Where’s the bathroom?

Week one of my junior year was nothing less than interesting. Learning the ropes of a brand new, huge school with an anxiety disorder is actually really comical. 

Day one was September 2nd. I got to school really early which was nerve racking and I drank my iced coffee furiously. I held on to my book bag straps very hard and found a seat in the cafeteria. My hands were shaking really hard and I started to create possible escape routes. I wondered if making this change was really the right decision…

A little background about my previous schooling: I went to a private christian school from kindergarten up until half way through 7th grade. I ended up leaving in the middle of 7th grade because I was being bullied so badly that I couldn’t even muster up the courage to get out of bed in the morning. I finished that year online. In 8th grade I attended a small school downtown called New Media Middle. This was a first year start up school modeled after the art school I went to for freshman and sophomore year. New Media Middle was a complete disaster and I ended up with a diagnosed panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and major depression. Middle school was hell. Finally when I got to my freshman year, I attended a school called The Arts and College Preparatory Academy (ACPA). I found out about this school and toured it in 7th grade. All through middle school my motivation was getting to go to ACPA. I studied mostly music there and made really good decisions and some really bad decisions. Around halfway through sophomore year I decided that the changes taking place at ACPA were not something I wanted to be apart of so I started searching for other schooling options for my last two years of high school. Somehow I ended up going to an open house at my local career center. I fell in love with the cosmetology program and decided that it was the perfect place for me. So that where I am now.

The rest of day one was full of anxiety…like tons and tons and tons and tons of anxiety. My original fears were the normal “Will I be able to find my classes?”, “Who will I sit with at lunch?” type worries but quickly turned into full blown panic inflicting triggers. I didn’t know a single person and I felt like everyone and everything was watching me, judging me. I took many deep breaths like I’m supposed to, but it offered little help. The bell finally rang and I walked to my Cosmetology classroom. I walked in and two seniors were showing people where their assigned seats where. I was NOT ready for peer interaction yet so my stomach dropped. But I did it and celebrated internally. Fast forward to lunch, where I got in line to get my lunch. I have never been to a school where you have a 6 digit “lunch number”. The vice principle was helping students find their number based on their last name. He told me mine and I repeated it in my head over and over again, trying to pass the time in this line that seemed to stretch on forever. Everyone else in line was standing in clusters with people they knew and I was standing all alone, shaking so hard there is no way no one noticed. I was obsessing over remembering my lunch number and trying to conceal how hard my hand were shaking. I finally got to the place where I got my lunch and let me just tell you that this was the craziest thing I have ever seen in my life. You have to grab a tray, pick a bunch of different options and oh my lanta I thought it was so cool. I punched in my lunch number once I got to the cash register. A red light flashed and a loud BEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP went off and I almost dropped my tray. I tried again and it did the same thing. The woman was really nice and helped me through it. I sat down and realized I forgot my drink and silverware. My anxiety was already through the roof and there was no way in hell I was going back up there. I ended up using my applesauce as a drink and eating green beans like french fries with my hands. By this point I had to use the bathroom like a race horse. I overheard someone saying that you had to have a pass to go during lunch. I was too afraid to ask for a pass, let alone ask where the bathroom is. So…I went all day without going to the bathroom. Once I was home and able to use the bathroom, you would have swore I discovered the holy land. 

Day two, three, and four got easier each day. By Friday, (Day 4) I was 200% sure I had made the right decision being at the career academy for cosmetology.

It’s Sunday now and I can’t wait to start week two of Cos tomorrow. I’ll be updating this about my adventures hopefully everyday. 

I send good vibes to all the kids like me who have been to hell and back but have held on tight for the ride. ❤

Picture by Hannah (Check her out, she’s radical as heck)